Are you just planning your wedding, or are you also preparing for your marriage?

Couples spend a lot of time planning their weddings…and a lot of money on their weddings. Years later, most would agree that their color theme or seating chart wasn’t really all that important after all. What is important is taking time to talk about the reality of married life together. Even if you think you already have everything figured out, give yourself a wedding gift… Premarital counselling. It will be worth every penny!

Premarital counselling provides a safe environment for couples to discuss important issues and topics in their relationship before making a lifetime commitment to one another. Premarital counselling isn’t just about working through any potential issues, but it’s also about discussing important practical things, such as:

• Wills: Have you made them? Could you do that?
• Monogomy: How did you feel about it? What would your attitude and approach be if your partner slipped up?
• Kids: Do you want them? What values would you want to instill in them? Timeline? What would you do if you discovered you were infertile? How do you feel about adoption?
• Money, money, money: What’s your attitude about it? How do you feel about budgeting and debt?
• Life goals: What are they?
• Marriage crisis: What would you do if you felt your marriage was in crisis?
• Divorce: How do you feel about it? Do you consider it an option? If so, when and how?
• Anger: How do you express it?
• Jealousy: Do you consider yourself a jealous person? How about your partner?
• Religion/Spirituality: Do you consider yourself religious and/or spiritual? Is religion and/or spirituality important to you?
• Career goals: What are they?
• Intimacy: Are you satisfied with your sex life? How should you express sexual needs?
• Family involvement: How often would you like to visit with your parents/siblings? How will you divide the holidays between your parents? How will you handle family drama?
• Social life: How often do you want to spend time with your friends? How often would you like to have “date nights”? What if you don’t like one of your partner’s friends?

A good, healthy marriage is based on open and honest communication. People aren’t born with these skills, and many never learn them. Through premarital counselling, I can help you learn those skills.

Through premarital counselling, I will work with you to:

• Improve your conflict resolutions skills
• Set realistic expectations
• Create positive marriage resolutions
• Learn how to avoid building toxic resentments
• Identify possible marriage stressors
• Work through your fears about marriage

To get the most out of your premarital counselling sessions…

• Respect the privacy of your sessions. Don’t share what has been discussed in sessions with anyone. Trust is essential to this process and complete confidentiality is required.
• Accept that it’s going to be tough at times. It’s not always easy or fun to hear some honest truths from your partner. You will have to try to remove your ego from the equation and be open to constructive criticism, knowing that through this process you will have a better marriage.
• Remember that the goal isn’t to individually “win”. You need to be willing to accept responsibility and be willing to make any necessary changes in order for your marriage to “win”.
• Express gratitude to your partner. Thank your partner for making a commitment to strengthening your relationship through participating in premarital counselling.

Did you know...

Couples with premarital counselling report higher levels of marital satisfaction and experience a decline in the likelihood of divorce